When we first meet someone or are getting to know someone new, we typically ask, what do you do? And at least in American society, we typically measure someone by what he/she has accomplished within a commonly learned scope – their education, their profession, how much money they make, their net worth, how large and attractive is their home, do they have vacation homes, their travels, their spouse, their children and what their children do, have they headed up a company, written a best-selling book, drive an expensive car, are they physically very good-looking – sound familiar?
As a relatively new coach, my parents and certain relatives don’t ask – are you enjoying your profession? Is it expressing who you really are? No, those are esoteric questions. They ask – are you making any money at that? How much are you charging? I can’t fault them. They were raised with a primary value and purpose – to provide for their families, mostly focused on financially.
I had a recent conversation with a friend who is in the midst of a life transition. Recently retired, a parent whose youngest is about to go to college – he is now looking to redefine himself and his life. His life has been based on his profession and being a good provider, all noble and very important roles. So I challenged him as I challenge you reading this – what is your purpose without what you “do” or did? What values are the inherent you that you bring or could bring to being purposeful in this world?