The surest way to unhappiness for me is when I compare myself and the status of my life to others. I have expended way too much energy and creativity in the past allowing myself to become disheartened and distracted by others’ success, when I could have been using all that focus and attention to creating my own. Not that I wanted others not to have what they have – I have been happy for them and celebrate others’ successes.
However, as my friend Jules Price said – “When you observe something – does it inspire and motivate you to create it for yourself? You think - that’s great; I want that in my life! Or do you think, I’ll never have that.” So you give up before you put the attention into making it happen for yourself.
What happens when your attention drifts to comparing yourself to others? To their wealth, relationships, health/beauty, status, experiences, etc. If you are motivated by this, then, great let it be your inspiration! If you’re like me, then say good for them (and mean it), and then focus on your own stuff!
What do you want to create in your life?
What does your impossible future look like?
What motivates you?
How do you express gratitude every day for what you DO have in your life?
What small steps are you taking every day that bring you closer to what you are creating in your life?
What small steps are you taking every day that bring you closer to what you are creating in your life?
The tenth commandment of the Bible is a guide for this. It has a list of “thou shalt nots” of what not to covet of your neighbor’s. I like to simplify it this way – Don’t covet your neighbor’s life. Don’t be jealous of what others have. Be happy for them and honor and continually be grateful for your own life. And don’t look for others to generate your happiness for you. Seems like there is a lot of that going around. The “I want you to take care of me” mentality when the person isn’t even making much effort to take care of him/herself.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime – Chinese Proverb. Don’t wait around for someone to initiate the teaching; be responsible for being open to the learning and ask for it, or teach yourself.
And every time, and it will happen, that you feel a bit of collapse over the new great relationship someone else has, or the pile of money, beautiful home, or coolest car ever that they have, or the fabulous body, loving parents, travel adventures, exciting life, or just free time and relaxation that you see “out there,” reaffirm in your spirit that you are creative, resourceful, and have infinite innate wisdom and gratitude, and you ARE creating this in your life every day.
Focus on Your Own Stuff and Be Open to Blessings.
Robin Fernandez
Nature of Being
