So here is a question I have pondered a lot throughout my life – when is something not happening because it’s “not meant to be,” and when is it not happening because the attention, effort, and energy you are putting into it is not clear or sufficient to work its “manifesting” magic? There is que sera, sera – what will be, will be, and then there is “where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Does it depend on the ease of the process? If you are working too hard to bring something about – the proverbial trying to put a square peg in a round hole – then listen and perhaps decide that it’s not meant to be? Or should you take a look at your process and if other people’s opinions and input may be mucking up the works? Who knows how large doses of “not” energy affect the outcome?
I say, YES. Notice BOTH.
Most anything worthwhile in life takes some amount of attention, effort, and dedication. If the scales seem to be tipping in the direction of exhaustion, pushing a square-wheeled truck up a hill, or that the anticipated results do not come near the amount of work being pumped in to achieve the outcome – then it may be time to accept that “it’s not meant to be.” Then look for another way, as in one of my favorite musicals The Sound of Music – “when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.”
When you are working on bringing something into being, and it doesn’t seem to be coming along, or you have a lot of confusion going on in the process – it seems like it’s the right thing, but it’s not moving forward. Take a very close look at who may be blowing smoke into your house and messing up the project you are working on creating. Are you getting everybody else’s fears, negative opinions, and their “stuff” thrown on top of your own? Like a room you keep trying to clean when other people keep messing it up, you can’t even see what you’re working on doing in that room. Family and friends may mean well in expressing their opinions, but when others put their own energy into something you are working on, you don’t know how it’s going to skew your results!
Artists, composers, choreographers, writers, architects – anyone who is in the creative process – knows that showing your work to someone before it is complete or ready for “editing” is deadly. You are inviting someone else’s opinion in before you have fully formulated your work. In each creative process, you must allow yourself the freedom to explore, try things out freely and with wild abandon without the risk of having someone else’s vision or influence upon your work. If you do, your full artistic creative spirit may become squashed, hampered, dampened – you may seriously doubt your own creative ability or may fall out of “the zone” and stop working. Especially by those who consciously or unconsciously do not support your work. “The zone” to me is a playful, focused state where you lose your sense of time, you are enjoying the process of creating (not just looking for the end result), and you are in the moment, in the present, of the work. It may be for ten minutes at a time, for two hours, or for days.
There is a saying attributed to Mike Murdock – “Never discuss your problem with someone incapable of solving it.” So I put this supposition before you, use this same creative caution with EVERYTHING you are creating or wanting to create in your life. Contain and focus your energy on your creation. Do not allow it to dissipate by talking about it or sharing it too soon with others who might rain on your parade. In the play “Collected Stories” by Donald Margulies, a highly accomplished writer and professor, Ruth, shares lessons in writing with a talented young student, Lisa. When Lisa starts to tell Ruth about an idea she has for a story, Ruth emphasizes “Don't tell me about it; write it.” Ruth warns her, “Telling takes away the need to write it.”
I do believe in an interconnected, consequential world. That most if not all occurrences are not coincidental and that our way of being influences our actions and affects our results. “You reap what you sow.” Sharing your goals and dreams prematurely can diminish the energy that is building up around your vision, slowing it from coming into existence. Use caution when running an idea by someone who is either not directly involved in bringing it about or does not have enough self-awareness to have only your best interests at heart. You may be peppering in a bunch of their bad seeds with the good ones you’re trying to plant.
That brings me to coaching. Find a coach whom you trust with your goals and dreams, to help you create a containment field around your vision while it is “cooking.” An inherent foundation of coaching is that the coach honors the coachee’s innate wisdom, creativity, and resourcefulness to discover his/her own answers and paths to realize their goals and manifest their dreams. Choose a coach who is your goal advocate and only confide in others who are instrumental and/or supportive in bringing your vision into reality. And listen and observe for signs of when it’s time to move in a new direction (something is not meant to be). Share with potential naysayers only after something is complete – I have a new job; I moved; I got married; my book is published and sold a million copies. I may be exaggerating, but you get the idea!
Happy Creating!
Robin Fernandez
Nature of Being
Nature of Being
