Requests are a way we can exercise power to influence the future. If you want someone to do something or change his/her behavior and you never ask for anything different – it is very likely that nothing will change. If you do initiate a conversation and make a request that he/she stop doing or start doing something and that person says “Yes,” now there is a possibility for creating a new future.
I was presenting for a film class at a local college. The students were gathered outside the classroom within the library, and I observed the following. One of the library staff came up and said to the students – this is a quiet area and your talking carries through the library and downstairs; there isn’t supposed to be any talking in this area. The students glanced blankly at the gentleman and continued their conversations. The staff member spoke with a student assistant who then came up to the students and nicely said – could you please move out of the hall into this room so that your conversations will not be heard in the library. The students complied immediately. There was a clear request, direction, and even a reason (stating the outcome if they comply). Learning to make more powerful requests can change your life and those who commit with a resounding yes in response.
“Get to the Verb” – Meaning, put the action item in the beginning of your spiel before you lose the listener. How are requests (asking someone to do something) or offers (asking someone if they want your service or product) influenced if we stop beating around the bush when we speak and Get to the Verb?
A friend shared a cartoon with me depicting the fact that in Latin, the verb comes at the end of the sentence. The cartoon has a character addressing the Roman Senate. With each frame, the orator looses more of his audience falling asleep or leaving. The last frame shows one remaining alert figure in the audience who elbows his sleeping colleague and says “Wake up, here comes the verb!”
A friend shared a cartoon with me depicting the fact that in Latin, the verb comes at the end of the sentence. The cartoon has a character addressing the Roman Senate. With each frame, the orator looses more of his audience falling asleep or leaving. The last frame shows one remaining alert figure in the audience who elbows his sleeping colleague and says “Wake up, here comes the verb!”
Unfortunately, in making a request or extending an offer, we don’t have someone to nudge our requestee to let them know – Hey Listen Now – here comes what I want you to do. So what happens when you practice putting the verb/the action closer to the beginning of your conversation? Is the request more likely to be heard? To whom are you speaking? Will the requested action be better received by that particular person with a softer start-up (more explanation before you get to the verb), or is she/he a “get to the point” kind of person?
I recently coached eleven girls in their speeches for the annual Celebration Luncheon for Girls Inc. at the Ritz-Carlton in Sarasota for 900 guests. After the program one of the younger girls, came up to me and asked when I was going to be at Girls Inc. again. I said that I have a couple of projects I will be working on there. Then she asked if I would be there next week and further asked if I am a mentor. I said I wasn't, and she said, “I want you to be my mentor. Will you be my mentor”? I promised I would ask about the program and look into becoming her mentor. Through her request, a possible new future has opened for both of us.
Where in your life would you like to create a new future? What requests can you make now that will instigate that new direction? To whom would you like to make an offer of your talents, business, or products? What is your offer that invites them to take the next step with you?
I encourage you to make a request or offer today that will change your future and those with whom you initiate that conversation.
Happy Asking!
Robin Fernandez
Nature of Being
