The Nature of Leadership

What is the Nature of your Leadership Style? Is it like a tornado – wreaking change through immediate and unpredictable force? Is it like the moon’s effect on the tides – profound, with regular predictability? Is it subtle, like a gentle breeze – stirring leaves with a calm, unseen influence?

Leadership is not just something that happens in an office, or within a corporation or organization. One of the definitions of leadership is an act or instance of leading, guidance, direction. It can also mean control, influence, command, and effectiveness. And whether or not we are aware of it, each of us is the leader of our own life. We also co-create our life with those seen and unseen forces around us. Too often we go through life leading by default, rather than purposefully leading.

Nature seems, to us, to be conducted without purpose, random, unpredictable. However, we can’t begin to understand the vastness of the inner workings of Nature and how this entire planet works together. The higher level of leadership that is going on around us is unfathomable to us. If you watch any Nature program, you will be awed by the precision, balance, effectiveness, direction, and teamwork of animals, birds, insects, fish, plants, trees. And they do it all without “words.”  And yet humans with all our technology, languages, methodologies, techniques, leadership books, governments, organizations – have a tough time with what Nature seems to do effortlessly.

Per Jonas Salk, “if all insects on Earth disappeared, within 50 years all life on Earth would end. If all human beings disappeared from the Earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish.” What does that tell you about the virtues of our leadership as compared with Nature’s?

Exceptional leadership is something each of us should aspire to be and do on purpose in our daily lives. Take a look at your leadership style:

Choose to Receive Your Good

Who are you without your struggle?  If you are so used to struggling, unhappiness, emotional suffering, scarcity, lack, less-than, and you want to create ease, happiness, enthusiasm, joy, abundance, self-worth – start in small ways to enable a greater and greater capacity to hold happiness – to open and receive your good.

How practiced are you in receiving?  When “my” dog showed up out of the North Carolina woods, he was tired, starving, ribs showing, ears cut up from running through briars, scared, and yet he was ready to soak up the food, water, affection, play, and love showered on him by a bunch of strangers!  What a lesson to witness in being open to receive goodness.

In coaching conversations with clients, it is interesting to hear how much we identify with the past, clinging to the familiarity of what we do not want.  We often have a lot of resistance to practicing the new way of being that we imagine.  Replacing the old is not as far off as we might think.  “Positive” thoughts have much more oomph than “negative” thoughts.  Think about this – one small flame from a candle can light an entire huge dark room allowing you to see everything; however, it is impossible to bring a small amount of darkness into a bright room and make it dark!

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. ~ Hafiz

The Illusion of Scarcity

I was walking on the beach one day when a very loud squawking overhead grabbed my attention.  I looked up to see a small bird with a fish dangling from its mouth, being chased by a flock of seagulls.  The chase continued on and on for some time – with the bird being pursued engaging in some amazingly quick flight patterns to outmaneuver the other birds.  I thought why doesn’t the bird just eat the fish, thereby ending the chase?  Is the bird so focused on frenetic flying that it can’t enjoy the catch?  More importantly I pondered – in the time the other birds spent chasing, they could have devoted that energy into finding their own meal.  How often do we want someone else to do the work for us?  How frequently do we long for what someone else has and expend more time and energy into being jealous and wanting to take it away from them – when there is a whole world of goodies – abundance everywhere, available for each of us if we recognize it?  Technically, there is plenty of everything for everyone, particularly because not everybody wants and needs the same thing.  Too often we want to ride on the coattails of someone else’s talent, someone else’s money, their friends, their accomplishments – when we have talents and abilities of our own to uncover, discover, and put into action.

Lessons from my Flower Garden

I have become aware of a feeling that I experience at various and sometimes odd moments in my life – a feeling that may best be described as sweetness.  It may occur when I’m doing something simple or I’m having a moment of appreciation.  A subtle yet powerful feeling of active contentment, being in the now, yet somehow filled with hope that the future I long to create is being created, is working, is forthcoming.  I would like to experience this feeling a lot more frequently.  When I am in a brief moment of this sweetness, I feel trust, faith, and a distinctive knowing that I have the ability to create my soul’s desires, and I feel assured that it is actually happening.  All this is a very fleeting moment of sweetness.

On the Right Road

After meeting with an acquaintance in Loveland CO, she suggested I take a different road back to Boulder, and said I would see signs for getting onto the highway. I drove for some time, and started to wonder if I had missed the turnoff.  I didn’t see a sign.  Maybe there wasn’t a sign? Without a GPS or a map in the car, I turned around and drove back quite a ways.  I took another road briefly – and knew that wasn’t correct since I was driving toward the mountains, and they should have been on my right.  I called a friend and discovered I had not traveled far enough.  I drove back onto the first road, and realized the sign for the highway was just a little past where I had turned around.   

I thought about the significance of this and wondered how many times have I done this in my life?  How many times have I turned around, doubting that I was on the right road?

Be Like the Trees – Always Share Your Gifts with the World

I was receiving a coaching session about my frustration that my motivation, attention, and output of my talents waxes and wanes – Sometimes from day-to-day, sometimes from moment-to-moment.  When I more immediately see the benefit to others or receive compensation from my work or talent, my desire to continue the output is much stronger and more sustainable.  I want to maintain my motivation and creativity whether or not I am receiving outside influences or acknowledgement at that particular moment, and to continuously enjoy the process of being my gifts.

The coach assisted me in tweaking a declaration and a new body stance of opening and outpouring my gifts to eagerly awaiting receivers.  The image of a tree frequently comes to my mind when I coach others, as it did this time.  I love the image of a tree because it has roots that go down into the ground and branches and leaves that reach toward the sky.  I relate this to our connection to our vision/sky, and maintaining grounding/roots to enable us to bring the vision into reality in the world.  A tree gives many gifts to us.  A tree provides shade, absorbs carbon dioxide, ozone, and other air pollutants, and gives off oxygen.  They save on energy costs and control storm water. A tree exemplifies beauty, and offers shelter and sustenance for animals and birds.  It provides fruit and nuts/nutrition to us.  And who can quantify the soul-enriching essence of trees?  Serenity, harmony, strength, longevity, inspiration.

I had a realization - Trees never withhold their gifts…A tree won’t say, hey, you are not appreciating me and noticing the lovely shade I am bringing you, so I’m going to fold up my branches and see how you like the sun beating down on you today!  Trees are giving all the time they exist.  

Make a Request – Change the Future

Requests are a way we can exercise power to influence the future. If you want someone to do something or change his/her behavior and you never ask for anything different – it is very likely that nothing will change. If you do initiate a conversation and make a request that he/she stop doing or start doing something and that person says “Yes,” now there is a possibility for creating a new future.

I was presenting for a film class at a local college. The students were gathered outside the classroom within the library, and I observed the following. One of the library staff came up and said to the students – this is a quiet area and your talking carries through the library and downstairs; there isn’t supposed to be any talking in this area. The students glanced blankly at the gentleman and continued their conversations. The staff member spoke with a student assistant who then came up to the students and nicely said – could you please move out of the hall into this room so that your conversations will not be heard in the library. The students complied immediately. There was a clear request, direction, and even a reason (stating the outcome if they comply). Learning to make more powerful requests can change your life and those who commit with a resounding yes in response.

“Get to the Verb” – Meaning, put the action item in the beginning of your spiel before you lose the listener. How are requests (asking someone to do something) or offers (asking someone if they want your service or product) influenced if we stop beating around the bush when we speak and Get to the Verb?